Writing band?

Assalamualaikum, nak share one essay written by me.
To me, thi is quite a long essay
Agak agak, what band will i get for this essay?You think?

THE EFFECT OF TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENTS

In this globalization era, an extraordinary technological developments have greatly increased human lifestyle in various aspects such as in communication, transportation and education. This scenario has obviously changed society’s attitude. Some people become more reluctant because they are too rely on the technology to go to their destination while others believe that they can stay keep in touch with anyone they want to, with those provided sophisticated facilities. Thus, by introducing the phenomenon to be discussed, I am inclined to believe that, the prodigious technological developments are very convenient to society for communicating, but the advancement in transportation causes traffic jam.

An equally significant aspect of technological developments are convenient to society is due to the communication among society, nowadays. The sentiment expressed in the quotation embodies the view that, people often interact with their family and pals through social website which can access via mobile phone instead of using computer. There is an instance where I have encountered, most of people sharing photos, information and common interest through Facebook, Twitter, and blog as these application can connect them with people from all over the world. Indubitably, those modern methods are the most widely used by society to communicate with others, today. Thus, accordingly I am convinced that technology today, makes our life more convenient especially in communication.

There is also however a further point to be considered which is technological advancements  cause traffic jam. A contrary explanation is that, as the world is developing, the various types of superb vehicles created are also increasing. Meanwhile, the new version of multipurpose cars has attracted many people to buy on their own. Indeed, people did not like to car pool which is eventually increased the number of car users on the road. As a result, the increasing number of the car users on the road causes traffic jam. Therefore, there is no doubt that technological developments also have drawback in transportation which is causes the traffic jammed.

In conclusion, the technological developments have both pros and cons. We, as the users of those superb technological developments, play an indispensable role in making them worth for us. Each of us should realize how lucky we are to have the chances to consume those facilities compared to people who live about a century ago. Nevertheless, we should also be aware about the impact of those inventions which we will confront in the future perpetually.

*What do you personally think about this essay?

*If there is any mistake, do correct me. You may express your idea or words suggestion. 

Thank you:)